For many people the word discipline evokes unpleasant images of authoritarian and punitive behaviour on the part of a parent. However the goal of effective discipline is neither blind obedience nor punishment, rather it is a way of keeping your children safe, building character and teaching self-discipline. As a parent you have a responsibility to foster the healthy development of your children so that they grow to be caring human beings who understand and respect both their own needs and those of others. That is best achieved through non-violent, age appropriate discipline techniques that reinforce positive behaviour and demonstrate the negative consequences of adverse behaviour.
Rather than policing your children for signs of misbehaviour, focus on catching them doing something right and acknowledge it immediately. If they pick up their toys without you telling them to, are gentle with the family pet, or are well behaved on a family outing in pushchairs to a local restaurant, if they stay in their toddler bedwithout a fuss praise their behavior; let them know you have noticed it and appreciate it. People of all ages love sincere complements, and that is particularly true for small children; for them it is the ultimate reward. Every time you reward positive behaviour, you increase the likelihood that it will happen again. Frequent positive reinforcement is by far the best way to curb misbehaviour.
As children grow and begin to assert their independence, it is natural for them to test the limits. They need you to be firm, consistent and reasonable no matter how frustrating their behaviour may sometimes be. Well defined limits and guidelines coupled with natural and logical consequences for inappropriate behaviour, provide children with a “safety net; a buffer to protect them from the outside world.” If parents disagree on limits or consequences, they need to sit down, work through it and come to some compromise. Disagreeing in front of a child, or failing to support each other, is not only confusing for the child but it can teach them all the wrong lessons. In that situation, a child may learn that they can get their own way by manipulating others, as they play one parent off against the other.
When you allow children to experience natural consequences, providing it doesn’t put them in any danger, you are giving them the opportunity to learn from their mistakes. If a child is tearing around the house and trips and falls, they learn to be more careful and watch where they are going. Of course, it may take a few falls before they do. If you have asked your child not to leave their bicycle out in the yard and ultimately the bike is stolen, don’t rush out and buy them a new one. Having their bike stolen is a natural consequence of not looking after their bike in a responsible manner.
At times you may have to intervene and create a consequence, one that is logically connected to the misbehaviour. If, for example, a child throws a ball through the neighbour’s window, a logical consequence is that he/she should have to pay to replace the glass. Logical consequences can also be made and agreed on in advance. Regular family meetings provide a great opportunity for the parents and kids to discuss the family rules and determine reasonable consequences. When everyone understands what to expect you can avoid falling into the trap of continually warning, threatening or moralizing.
When disciplining your children, it’s important always be careful to separate the child from the behaviour. You have to make it clear to the child that it is the behaviour that is unacceptable, not them. Discipline should never undermine the child’s self-esteem.
Hello my name is Nisha Sharma, I represent a site called BabyPlanet.biz I love to write about parenting, children and give advice to mums.
If you’ve decided to finally allow your child a pet in the house, but are looking to start with something a bit easier to take care of, you may have reached a decision to allow a pet fish in the house. But fish aren’t as easy as they seem to take care of, and you can’t just drop a fish in a bowl of water and hope it survives.
Keeping a home-based fish in good health requires a keen eye, as well as some simple knowledge about fish caretaking. In this article, we’ll focus mostly on the fish’s environment, and how to pick out a tank that best suits your needs as well of the needs of your child and his or her fish.
My first two kids are girls. For a first-time parent, taking care of them was surely an adjustment. But my wife and I managed well. Sure, while they were growing up, they had these stages such as the terrible twos. To some extent, these still come back in some form or another. But now with our youngest–who’s a boy–things are drastically different.
I don’t know what kind of energy these little toddlers have. Every since our little boy learned to walk, he’s been up and about, running all around the house. He’s climbing up the sofa, dining table, my office desk, and even the stairs. He’s also running around pulling at drawers, opening closets, slamming the door.
It’s endless.
I guess boys are, indeed, made different from girls.
My parents often tell me that I was such a rowdy kid when I was little. I guess it’s no surprise that at least one kid of mine would inherit this trait, then! And, I guess raising a little boy might require a bit more patience than raising a girl.
A parenting.com article sums up the difference–and the challenges–in raising boys and girls in an article.
The bottom line? On balance, the general consensus seems to be that boys are more of a handful early on, and girls more challenging beginning in the preteen years.
In short, having kids of both sexes means they’re going to be a handful for the next ten years or so!
Baby milk formulas are an essential need and depending on the recommendation of your family pediatrician, it would be best to be careful as well such as asking how long or what effects could possibly be watched out if and when the infant is not keen on the baby formula.
Normally as parents, we would trust our pediatrician. But sad to say, these days you also have to be aware of the current crop of milk formulas that are in the market. We have a mixture of local and foreign brands and while we look highly of imported milk formulas, this Chinese formula scandal is something that should serve as a warning for building better awareness on the milk our babies feed on.
Nearly 160 babies are suffering from acute kidney failure and more than 1,300 are still in hospital, Chen said. Free medical care is being offered to all of the sick babies and officials are setting up an information hotline.
Officials believe that suppliers to China’s dairy companies have added melamine, a banned substance used in the manufacture of plastic products, to watered-down milk so it would appear to have a higher protein content.
Of the dairy companies tested so far, investigators have found that 20 per cent have sold products tainted with the chemical.
Tests have confirmed that all of the sick babies consumed milk powder produced by Sanlu Group Co., Chen said.
One thing about baby formulas is that they are essential for a child’s overall need as far as food and nutrient is concerned. But perhaps an additional responsibility is to check out the history and of course the ingredients that come with it. We are after healthy babies that grow normally and wisely. Staying away from added things to keep our babies in top shape would be a good recourse.
We all know that children lack the proper understanding on the things around them but surely, they know when a parent or sister will be angry at them. Giving bad looks and perhaps shouting at them would be easy ways to understand this but the fact remains, should we as parents shout at younger children?
Shouting is a form of showing power and also striking fear in the hearts of others. But for babies who are still in their developing stages, should shouting be included among the forces of instilling discipline?
It is true that if you fail to discipline your child while they are young may result into making them grow-up like brats. But disciplining them can be done in several ways. Some use the traditional disciplinarian practices like:
1. Being sent to a corner until he is told to move from there
2. Kneeling
3. Squatting
4. Belt or hangers showing
We all remember these things from our parents but that is the key point. We remember them and as babies before, who knows what happened or if we were punished in such a way!
Remember, that even if babies cannot understand it for now, it remains that it will have a baring on their overall development into maturity. Consider that thought before even pitching your voice. It can be a critical point against you.
By now, we are all aware that Sarah Palin has been chosen by presidential hopeful John McCain as her running mate. While it seems that there is not much to know about Palin, there is one glaring mark on her right now and that is the presence of her pregnant teenage daughter which has captured the attention of most media and people as far as finding waterloo marks on aspiring political figures today.
At the moment she is the governor of Alaska and apparently she has gained further exposure as far as vying for the Vice President seat of the U.S. But many are divided on her current status, using her daughter as an excuse to question her standing as a responsible parent.
But the real question is on whether we should pass judgment on her. Sarah is a parent and just like us, it is not different from going to work although politics is more on the high side of things. Questioning the capacity of a parent on choosing between career and parenting should not be made as an excuse towards hitting the people running for public office. If people were mature and rational, for sure they would know that Sarah Palin knows how to handle her career and her role as a mother to her children.
Once your child reaches his teens, chances are he or she will spend more time with his or her friends. Among the things to watch out include:
1. Late Night Outs
2. Frequently Absent from Home
3. Mannerisms
4. Extensive Time Spent on the Phone or Texting
The youth of today are indeed a different breed and while we as parents would be tagged as enjoying the same privilege, we still have to watch out for them and make sure that they grow up as rational as we have been. We have had our share of mischief but at the way that society is projected today, the youth may find itself having run-ins with the law and that is something you would want to avoid.
For one, it is a dent in the image you want your kids want to have especially when they grow up. To some, it may also tarnish their image as respected people in society. But there are things today you cannot avoid and the best you can do is turn to provisions to avoid these things from escalating to unmanageable levels.
Even if it means handling them with an iron hand, do it. Kids today are totally aware of how to take care of their future. Hard as it may be for them to understand, we just have to play our part as their parents.
It is only normal to hear that most kids would ask for a pet at some point in time of their age. It normally comes from culture or from seeing other kids who have their own dogs or cats. But while that is a need that can really be passed up, perhaps this new discovery as far as health and potential snoring problems in kids can convince parents to refrain from buying kids these traditional pets.
Snoring is something you don’t expect to hear from kids. But these days, advanced studies and technology has helped us identify and sum up causes of heart diseases or respiratory problems. Kids may not sleep with these animals but normally the exposure that they get can be entirely dangerous. Worst, it can lead to complications and put your child in danger if you are not careful.
“These factors may enhance inflammatory processes and thereby alter upper airway anatomy early in life, causing an increased susceptibility for adult snoring,” the study conjectured.
The harsh, occasionally nerve-wracking sounds associated with snoring are caused the vibrating of the soft palate.
If there is one thing that kids hate seeing it is mom and dad fighting often. Due to misunderstandings, a normal family cannot see parents quarreling a lot due to work, time and finances. While that is a familiar site, one thing you have to worry about is the impact it will have on the siblings.
We have seen the sharp rise of juvenile delinquents and psychologically affected kids these days and most of them come from broken homes. Some are products of failed marriages which often lead to divorce. Once this happens, kids are forced to grow up with only one of their parents in sight although they can go with the other at times like weekends.
It is too much to ask for some parents to try and get along for the sake of the children. There are occasions that it has work. But along the line, there is bound to be a pop in the line which leads to arguments and totally giving up on the family relationship. The next thing you know, they are filing for divorce which will have bearing on what a simple child wants.
This is perhaps something kids have to deal with. Even though they don’t want to, some have adopted the understanding that this would be the best alternative rather than seeing their parents fighting often. There is no guarantee that being a single parent will likewise be good for the child. But one thing every parent must do is to make sure that misunderstandings with the partner should not be the case with their kids. They are not to blame for any of it and in fact should be the reason for you to mature and work hard to ensure them a better outlook in life.
Notice in families that most of the time, it is the youngest child that is the favorite and most over-protected offspring in the mix. Why is this so?
It has been a tradition that has been passed for some years now. The youngest will always be the spoiled one and the hardest to let go. One reason here is that he or she will always be the baby of the family no matter what age he or she may be. She is the last descendant of a clan and apparently she is the baby of the family.
Now it may seem unfair for most, especially if you are in a large family. The youngest may seem to be the one with the least drive to be responsible and be on their own not because they don’t want to but because they are closely monitored by their parents. As much as possible, parents don’t want them to get their hands dirty or see them suffering. It would be safe to say that parents do not want their youngest child having a hard time. They will do as much as they can to please them.
So where does this lead the youngest children as far as personal development is concerned? Well some have become rebellious while others have had a different outlook in life. They are most likely to have an easier time to evolve and live life according to how it should be.
Normally they would have a hard time trying to discover their true selves. But as far as life is concerned, just look around and you will see why the baby of the family will always be their baby forever.
