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Filed as Children, Parenting, Parenting News and tagged india, laws, manji yamada, Parenting, surrogate law with no replies
No disrespect meant to the various traditions that each country or region would have as far as the scope of their governing laws are concerned but when you put the life of a child on the line and make it complicated because of one stupid law, that is bound to draw the ire of any parent from anywhere in the world.
Take India for instance. We are all aware of the age of test tube and surrogate reproduction. While it is apparent that the real father and mother would be the sperm and the eggs donated by a man and a woman the absence of a surrogate law deprives Indian babies of a normal life. In short, innocent offsprings are put in a bind just because of legal complications.
Manji Yamada was born last month after eggs from an Indian donor were fertilised using the Japanese man’s sperm and implanted in the womb of the surrogate Indian mother.
Her biological father split from his wife after the fertilisation process, and his former spouse no longer wants the baby.
In the absence of a surrogacy law in India, the child — who is an Indian citizen — will have to be adopted by her Japanese father Ikufumi Yamada, 45.
Source
If you think that is enough, it only gets worse. Under Indian laws, a single father cannot adopt a baby girl. So imagine this case, even the biological father cannot adopt his own flesh and blood.
Just like most governing systems, there is bound to be a loophole. But as far as placing parenting and kids in the fray, this is too much. What proof can still be needed when in fact that this child and father are obviously biologically related? So much for democracy! They seem to make this issue from good to bad.
Filed as Advice, Children, Parenting and tagged baby, Children, developmental stages, father, mother, Parenting, spoiling with no replies
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Many would call it strange but while we are all familiar with the usual motherly love and care given to children, fathers provide the same care as well if given the choice. Especially at the rate that women need to work to help in the financial burdens of families today, fathers have to step up and provide attention during their free time as well.
Ideally, it seems that fathers are least capable of providing the wanted care of children today. But there are exceptions. At first it may seem difficult but with patience and some tips coming from the seasoned mothers, fathers can likewise be at par on how to take care of children.
But perhaps one thing that should be put in check would be the manner of care that would place children under the borderline cases of potential spoiling. Spoiling children as we all know is treating them like kings or queens, disregarding mistakes so that they can feel great all the time. While some parents just want the best for their child, this type of approach may be good for now but can be risky later on when their kids grow up.
Fathers may be prone to this considering that a father’s wrath is something that child will perceive as fear. That is perhaps if there is one thing that fathers should instill in themselves is self-control and patience.
Tantrums and hard-headedness of children is only normal. But to handle them should not be to give in to making them think that they can get away with it. Set a bar on it and know when to scold them and when not to. They are in the developmental stages and it would be best to straighten them out during these stages.
Filed as Advice, Children, Parenting and tagged big shoes, Children, idolize, kids, Parenting, responsibility, single parent with no replies
We may not necessarily like it but we see a lot of single parents in the form of unwed mothers or divorced couples who have to fill up the slack of taking care of their child alone. To most, it seems like a daunting task while for others, it is a challenge that only life can give.
Parenting is a joy if you use the proper approach. It is not a burden as some would say. Remember, you are part of brining that child to life and for sure the rewards will be heartfelt in the end. Your mission is to ensure that this child grows up to be responsible and sane, taking on life in the way that a mature adult should approach it.
Filling in Big Shoes
Ideally, taking the place of both a mother and a father is indeed big shoes to fill. But just like anything, hard work and sacrifices return large rewards. This is not in the form of money but in the form of security and lighter feeling. It is an expression only a parent can feel and once you get there, see the appreciation and tender loving care reciprocated unto you, you are sure to feel that it was worth every effort to bring up a child single-handedly.
Being a Role Model
Seeing that you are the only one who is bringing up your kid will surely be something that a child will appreciate. In fact, do not be surprised if they idolize you, follow your footsteps in making sure that they have a good life ahead. This is common and once that happens, tears of joy are sure to fall down your eyes.
As a whole, do not be surprised on how it is to be a single parent. Depending on your approach, it can be the best thing that happened to you. Always think positive.
Filed as Advice, Children, Parenting and tagged attention, babies, checkups, doctor, health, pediatrician, physician, vaccinations with 1 reply
Knowing babies and children, the doctor is the last person they would want to see. So they don’t know much about what a doctor or a pediatrician is at their age but the thing is they need the regular check-ups to ensure their overall health. Vaccinations and scheduled checkups are normal these days to make sure our babies are free from the usual diseases that are spreading today.
The question remains however, how do you condition the mind of your baby to see the pediatrician and avoid seeing those making tantrums and overly getting out of hand. Babies would normally shriek wildly especially if a stranger in the person of pediatrician would touch them. So how do you make up for it?
There are various ways. But the most important thing to note is the attention that they normally focus on. Babies and kids feel secure knowing their mom or dad is around. That is why most of the time, we see parents assisting doctors since if not, you would see a child crying like crazy.
In a pediatrician’s office we would normally see toys or colorful stuff that captures the child’s attention. They are placed there for a reason and that is to set the child’s mind somewhere else. While to most, it may be something that can be temporary but it is all about timing as well. Normally a physician would want to get it over and done with. But the thing is you have to time it perfectly. Otherwise expect the child to throw up on the spot or worse, suffer from trauma when it comes to check-up time with the doctor.
Be aware of these things. Just know how to put their mind somewhere else for a couple of hours and you will see improvements when your child has to see a doctor for checkup or other medical concerns.
Filed as Children, Parenting and tagged baby, gift of life, toddler with no replies
Most people reach a stage where babies will get all the attention and limelight to brighten their day. As a parent, you would think that the love and affection you always provide would be focused on your partner. But once your baby enters your world, you would be surprised at the difference in terms of attention and care that you would give a child over your hubby or spouse.
This is not geared towards creating quarrels and time defections as far as marriages are concerned. The gift of life in children is simply astounding. We cannot really explain how creating a life and caring for it and even getting entertained by them in their own little way really changes the mood we are in.
First words and mannerisms will always make our hearts beat faster due to the joy that they give. While there is no direct communication between a toddler and his or her parents, various means of communicating is really amazing. Knowing when they want to be fed or want a particular toy is something that only parents can understand and such is the beauty of knowing the usual parent-child relationship.
At some point, you may even see your partner frowning for the attention you give to your child. While many would call this immature, you cannot help but need to balance the attention you give to both.
A word of caution though. Know the boundaries of when to discipline and spoil your child. It may not show now but when your child progresses and grows up, you may have a difficult time trying to reason with them. Know your limits especially in proper raising of your child.
Filed as Advice, Children, Parenting and tagged babies, communications, developmental stages, disciplining, education, kids, Parenting, psychological disorders with no replies
As a parent, you will notice that one important thing that babies and kids yearn for today is attention. They may not be able to communicate with you in the standard way of communications but they do let you know if they need or want something. At times you will know if they want to play, eat or simply want to be cuddled with. Children love the affection and the attention and parents are the best people to give that to them.
Disciplining Your Child
The hard part is trying to draw the line. Kids will always feel that anything that they do is right and proper. Scolding them or showing them that something like spitting in front of other people should be done in a manner to which they will understand. One thing that is for sure, do not shout at them. It is the poorest way of trying to educate them in their current state.
The Moderate Teaching Approach
We all have our own ways of educating our child. Some parents even go as far as practicing what their elders did when they were young. But this does not always follow. The right way to educate a child is to do it by stage and at a medium to which they would understand. Do not use force or lash out at them as a dictatorial style of parenting. They will grow up with fear and perhaps suffer from psychological disorders.
Lastly, be as open and patient as possible. Kids are in their developmental stages and they have yet to understand the real purpose of life. Treat them as precious kids that they should be. They are gifts that can really blossom into better people to which will speak highly of you as a parent.
Filed as Advice, Children, Parenting with no replies
Just like a normal person, there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Not that we will admit it, but when we are with our siblings, we always make it a point to let them know that we are always right. For the meantime that they are in their developmental stages, this is something parents can get away with but the real deal in good parenting comes from learning from mistakes made.
Parents will have their share of foul-ups. That is a given for any aspiring parent today. Rather than be too proud, it would be best to admit to ourselves initially of these shortcomings and use them as points for improvement to become better parents for our children today.