“Myth:  Your teen doesn’t want a relationship with you.

Truth:  It’s not that your teen doesn’t want a relationship with you, they just want a different relationship.

Parents with teenagers don’t need to disengage, they need to re-engage and redefine.  They need you as much now as they did when they were a child.”

–Reggie Joiner

I bump into this thinking all the time.  Parents, for a multitude of reasons, start to back off the relationship with their teen.  They see the teen pushing for autonomy and often misinterpret some of that natural process as a direct challenge to the relationship.

The reality is as your teens approaches adulthood, they need you even more.

They don’t need the same relationship, but they still need you.

They need you to adjust to the fact they’re not a kid anymore.

They need you to redefine and re-imagine how you relate to them.

Don’t give up!  You have more influence than you know!

One of the greatest myths we could ever buy into is that high schoolers don’t need or want adults. The truth is, they don’t think they need adults when things seem to be going well. But inevitably there will be days when they do need someone. And the only way to be there when they need you is to prove that you care about them even when they think they don’t need you. So keep proving you care. Keep showing up when they push you away so they know you will be there when they need to talk.

–Kristen Ivy

How have you seen or experienced this dynamic?  Do you agree?
How can you can you adjust the way you relate to your teen to further your relationship?