Parenting is Hard. You're More Than Capable. We'd Love to Help.

Category: Family time (Page 6 of 6)

Glorified Taxi Cabs

Not sure how we got here, but in our world being “busy” has become a badge of honor.  We are busy people.  We have a lot going on.  And for some strange reason we get a sense of importance from our frantic lives.  The busier we are, the more important we feel.

It’s not just the adults that are busy.  Many kids today are just as busy.  My greatest fear as a young parent watching parents in the stages ahead of me, is becoming nothing more than a taxi cab!  As if my only role in life is carting them around to school, sports, friends, and wherever else they think they need to go.

As we come to the end of summer and gear up for the busyness of the fall, I wanted to share something that I’ve found very helpful.   It’s a chart from the book, Think Orange: Imagine the Impact When Church and Family Collide….  Basically, it gives you a way to think thru your crazy day and see (maybe in ways you’ve never thought about before) that you have so many opportunities to come alongside your son or daughter and influence, love, shape, and nurture.

 

Screen Shot 2014-08-21 at 10.49.03 PM

Meal time, drive time, bed time, morning time are all great opportunities to parent and influence your child.  Times that are a part of everyday, but maybe haven’t been seen as an option for meaningful moments.  How does thinking about each part of the day having certain roles and goals change the way you approach your day?

Going back to my greatest fear, if I follow the ideas here, drive time now because a time to covet and cherish.  Drive time now becomes an opportunity to debrief the day and discuss life together. Drive time is now a moment, in the midst of the chaos that is our lives, where my daughters are stuck with me and have no where to go!  (Of course, today we battle the constant connection to the screen, so it’s not quite the captive audience we desire, but nonetheless…you’re in the same space together!) 

SIDENOTE:  I wrote about an idea for redeeming the dreaded carpool that fits with this here:  https://www.parentingthoughts.com/2014/06/youre-a-better-youth-pastor-than-i-am/

I’ve heard many parents express a desire to have more influence in their kid’s life.  When asked why they think they don’t, there is a host of reasons, but time is usually in the mix.  That’s why I love this chart!  It helps put certain times that can be easily overlooked into perspective.  It helps us think through how we can still find places to influence and parent in the middle of our shuffling around.  It reminds us to slow down and be intentional.  It might even encourage you to try to create some new habits with your kids so you have the times listed above (Anyone getting their kids to sit at the table with them for dinner these days?)

Have you ever thought about your day this way? 

How can you take one of these ideas and implement into your routine today?

Which role of the of four listed above do you most often play?   Which do you neglect?

Summer is almost over and the school year is upon us.  I hope this is a practical tool that you can use to be the parent you want to be to your kids!

I would love to hear your thoughts!

 

Volunteering Your Way to a Meaningful Conversation

I imagine there are times when you wish you could just have one meaningful conversation with your son or daughter.  The kind of conversation where you feel like you are making headway on the things that matter most in life.  I also imagine they are hard to come by sometimes.  It can feel like trying to catch lightning in a bottle, especially as they get older.

I just got back from spending a week in San Antonio serving with Blueprint Ministries.  Blueprint works with homeowners in the city to help make their homes “warmer, safer, drier”.  Notice that “aesthetically pleasing” wasn’t on the list, hence the middle school labor force we were allowed to bring.  Not that the kids didn’t work hard to make their work look great for these wonderful people.  We had 4 teams doing all kinds of projects – roofing, flooring, drywall, installing cabinets, and more!  It was an incredible trip and there were rewarded after 4 days of hard work with roller coasters at Six Flags!

One of my favorite things about this trip is the conversations that happen.  We are in someone’s home from a different part of town than most of us live.  Often the homeowner’s are there with us and the students get a chance to form relationships with them and see their daily life up close and personal.  Students get to see their disposition as well as their possessions.  Conversations about life, happiness, wealth, stuff, relationships, and family are discussed almost everyday!

If you are looking for an opportunity to have a significant conversation with your kids, volunteering together is a great way to accomplish this goal.  Here are three reasons volunteering together can lead to significant conversations:

  • In volunteering you are often put in a situation that is outside of your norm.  Contrast has a way of bringing about clarity.  One of the most common quotes on our trip was, “I just was able to see how much I have and how much I take for granted.  They didn’t have near the stuff I have, but they were so happy and full of joy.”  Conversations of gratitude and how to live with a thankful attitude happen naturally.  More importantly, conversations about what truly brings joy in life can bring great perspective to a teenager in the midst of the world of adolescence.
  • In volunteering you are allowed to do something outside of yourself and it often feels like you’ve stumbled upon the right way to live.  I hate to admit it, but much of my day is spent worrying about myself and my needs.  When we can get outside of this, often life opens up and you realize the joy found in giving yourself away.  Our speaker for the week said, “you were hardwired to give and love sacrificially.  It’s how God created you.  That’s why this feels so good.”  Not much of the world is telling your son or daughter to live this way.  Volunteering together gives you this opportunity.
  • In volunteering you are in it together and there is mutual discovery taking place.  Here’s the best part, most likely you are learning and processing life just as much as they are!  Your kids will have a front row seat watching you learn and grow and process and open yourself up.  What a gift!  Instead of being in a situation where you might be tempted to lecture from your vast knowledge and life understanding, you are put in a place where you can mutually discover what matters most in life and process your experience together!

I’m sure many of you have already experienced this, so please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

Also, sign up to receive post via e-mail!  Just look to the right and you will receive new posts through your inbox!

Summer!

As a youth pastor, I love summer.  Students are out of school and we get to make the most of our time together with adventures around town, mission trips, and one day getaways.  Students are visibly more carefree without the weight of school and schedules on their shoulders.  It’s a time of relationship and community.  It’s a time when students make new friends and spend significant time with old friends.  Summer is a time of new experiences (often life-changing) and creating memories.  What’s not to love about summer?!?

It’s been the same experience for my family.  My wife and I are becoming more aware that the time we have with our young kids at home (something that we sometimes forget is a blessing) is going to continue to change as they grow and spend more time in school.  We have great desires for making the most of this summer.  Some of which we have accomplished and others that are still hoping to be realized.

While we are at the midpoint of summer, there is still some time left to make the most of our summer days while the kids are out of school. What were/are your family goals for the summer? Have you been able to make them happpen?

If you feel like summer hasn’t quite been what you hoped, there is still plenty of time to rally the troops and make some meaningful memories!

Here’s a great article entitled, “The Best Family Summer Ever: Ideas to Help Families Connect Before Summer Slips Away.”

Another idea, in case you missed it in the article, has to do with a “bucket list”.  Our family created a summer bucket list at the beginning of summer and have been checking off a few things here and there. Ours was simply a list on a piece of paper, but in the world of pintrest you can always find someone who is taking it to the next level. Here’s a great idea for a list that is a visual reminder and experience for the family – http://www.deliacreates.com/summer-bucket-list/

It’s not to late to put a little effort in making this a summer to remember!

 

Newer posts »

© 2024 ParentingThoughts

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑

Verified by ExactMetrics